LANGUAGE BLUES
Travelling , especially air travel , is fun. Besides fun , travelling is education . One meets people of different nations , their features differ , their language differ . The European aristrocracy used to send their sons to other European countries to learn as part of their education . Often they would attach their male offsprings to ambassadors to learn the delicate norms of diplomacy . When one travels from a country to the educated developed world , one sees a different world . My first foreign visit was to the wealthiest country , Switzerland, in the world .From Rawalpindi in an under developed Pakistan to that wealthy country left me gaping .
When one visits another country , one of the immediate problems one faces is the language . Visitors in aliens lands are seen carrying small dictionaries to solve their problems . However , visitors to an alien lands make absurd mistakes because of their lack of knowledge of others’ languages and customs . I remember the occasion in 1964 when one of my neighbours’ son and I , both in the same age group , went to visit an agriculture farm just outside Rawalpindi , barely a mile from my old house in Satellite Town . Over there , we witnessed a grotesque conversation between the attendant at the farm and two American ladies , wives of someone attached with the Planning Commission . Their car had an indication of belonging to the Ford Foundation . The local lad was trying his best to convey to the ladies in poor English . He was repeatedly saying ‘I mean ‘ which sounded to the two ladies and to us ‘Almond’ . Each time , he said ‘ I mean’ , both of them cried in unison ‘ You mean almond tree ‘ . Not waiting for the end of the conversation , homes .
Twice I escaped being caught in a hot soup . The first occasion was when I was returning from a trip to Germany . I was holding an official passport but my visa was expiring at 12 AM that night . The PIA flight from London to Frankfurt was delayed by one hour . I was staying with relatives in Bad Godesberg . I taken the 7 PM flight from Cologne to Frankfurt reaching there at 7.30 PM . The PIA flight on which I was booked was due to arrive at 10.30 PM leaving me enough time to board the flight comfortably . However ,when the boarding was announced , the time was 12 AM . Thus I was without a valid visa . Two policemen challenged my status in Germany . They were conversing in an alien language . They were taking me to the Airport Police . I starting calling Allah for helping me out from this distress which was compounding by not knowing each others’ languages . And , lo and behold , Allah did help me . They allowed me to board the plane .
At another time my official passport was challenged on my arrival at Manila Airport because it had my photograph that was taken when I was in the earlier thirties .The Immigration Authorities repeatedly looked at my face and then towards the picture which was affixed on the passport . But then I was allowed to enter the city .Before that occasion , I travelled to the UK twice , Saudi Arabia four times and to Thailand once on the same passport with which the same picture affixed .
Once one of my friends and I were on the second floor and were about to step on the escalators in Placette, a grand departmental store in Geneva , a middle aged woman rushed in to get to the escalators before us . At this , I said in Punjabi ‘ Mai ji tusi pehlay lung jao . Sadi khair ha ‘ ( Old lady , you go first .It is fine by me) . She retorted ‘Merci beaucoup .Merci beaucoup’(Thank you very much .Thank you very much ).
While attending a course in Geneva , two events happened worth remembering . In this Course , twenty countries were representing .At times like these the knowledge of English varies . Hence , it sometimes leads to very absurd situations .It so happened that we were taking lunch at the cafeteria in the League of Nations building , a participant from the former Czechoslovakia a fine young man with an American style crew cut , was telling his audience that in his country graduates are called ‘doctors ‘. A young lady from Uruguay intervened and said that the same practice is observed in her country . The females are called ‘doctoras’. That phenomenon was very surprising to me and the others . Out of curiousity I asked both as to what the medical doctors and PhDs were called in their countries . The man said nothing but she was adamant . I asked her if she did her PhD , if yes in which subject . It was her turn to be surprised because apparently‘ she did not come across the term ‘PhD’ in her life . However , on the way back from a field trip of Zurich , Winterthur , Obewinterthur and Basel , she was telling a female participant from Namibia that she did her PhD in Law .I was sitting across the aisle hearing the conversation . I reminded her that two months previously she did not know what the term ‘PhD’ meant . But she said that she had always been a PhD in Law .
Again at lunch in the same place on a different occasion , I used the word ‘innocent’ . That hit a hornets’ nest . She and other South American participant , a fine lady , an Argentinian, began to speak in all sorts of languages . The only words I could catch were ‘bad words’ . I was stunned . But the two were not willing to tell me where I had erred . Lunch was a disaster . After lunch , I went to both of them individually . But my efforts were futile . I went to a Pakistani working in GATT ( snow renamed as WTO) and borrowed his copy of Concise Oxford Dictionary , opened the page which the word ‘ innocent ‘ appeared and showed it to the lady belonging to Argentina . The riddle was solved when she explained that in Spanish the word meant something naughty . I told her that in English the word ‘innocent’ is the most innocent word found in the English Dictionary .
However , I have just now checked in an English –Spanish , the word ‘innocent’ means the same in both languages . If so , the riddle appears to be grotesque and absurd. Perhaps , my American friend , Frank Dealy , who knows many languages, may help solve it.
Mahfooz ur Rahman
Islamabad
July 10, 2013
Travelling , especially air travel , is fun. Besides fun , travelling is education . One meets people of different nations , their features differ , their language differ . The European aristrocracy used to send their sons to other European countries to learn as part of their education . Often they would attach their male offsprings to ambassadors to learn the delicate norms of diplomacy . When one travels from a country to the educated developed world , one sees a different world . My first foreign visit was to the wealthiest country , Switzerland, in the world .From Rawalpindi in an under developed Pakistan to that wealthy country left me gaping .
When one visits another country , one of the immediate problems one faces is the language . Visitors in aliens lands are seen carrying small dictionaries to solve their problems . However , visitors to an alien lands make absurd mistakes because of their lack of knowledge of others’ languages and customs . I remember the occasion in 1964 when one of my neighbours’ son and I , both in the same age group , went to visit an agriculture farm just outside Rawalpindi , barely a mile from my old house in Satellite Town . Over there , we witnessed a grotesque conversation between the attendant at the farm and two American ladies , wives of someone attached with the Planning Commission . Their car had an indication of belonging to the Ford Foundation . The local lad was trying his best to convey to the ladies in poor English . He was repeatedly saying ‘I mean ‘ which sounded to the two ladies and to us ‘Almond’ . Each time , he said ‘ I mean’ , both of them cried in unison ‘ You mean almond tree ‘ . Not waiting for the end of the conversation , homes .
Twice I escaped being caught in a hot soup . The first occasion was when I was returning from a trip to Germany . I was holding an official passport but my visa was expiring at 12 AM that night . The PIA flight from London to Frankfurt was delayed by one hour . I was staying with relatives in Bad Godesberg . I taken the 7 PM flight from Cologne to Frankfurt reaching there at 7.30 PM . The PIA flight on which I was booked was due to arrive at 10.30 PM leaving me enough time to board the flight comfortably . However ,when the boarding was announced , the time was 12 AM . Thus I was without a valid visa . Two policemen challenged my status in Germany . They were conversing in an alien language . They were taking me to the Airport Police . I starting calling Allah for helping me out from this distress which was compounding by not knowing each others’ languages . And , lo and behold , Allah did help me . They allowed me to board the plane .
At another time my official passport was challenged on my arrival at Manila Airport because it had my photograph that was taken when I was in the earlier thirties .The Immigration Authorities repeatedly looked at my face and then towards the picture which was affixed on the passport . But then I was allowed to enter the city .Before that occasion , I travelled to the UK twice , Saudi Arabia four times and to Thailand once on the same passport with which the same picture affixed .
Once one of my friends and I were on the second floor and were about to step on the escalators in Placette, a grand departmental store in Geneva , a middle aged woman rushed in to get to the escalators before us . At this , I said in Punjabi ‘ Mai ji tusi pehlay lung jao . Sadi khair ha ‘ ( Old lady , you go first .It is fine by me) . She retorted ‘Merci beaucoup .Merci beaucoup’(Thank you very much .Thank you very much ).
While attending a course in Geneva , two events happened worth remembering . In this Course , twenty countries were representing .At times like these the knowledge of English varies . Hence , it sometimes leads to very absurd situations .It so happened that we were taking lunch at the cafeteria in the League of Nations building , a participant from the former Czechoslovakia a fine young man with an American style crew cut , was telling his audience that in his country graduates are called ‘doctors ‘. A young lady from Uruguay intervened and said that the same practice is observed in her country . The females are called ‘doctoras’. That phenomenon was very surprising to me and the others . Out of curiousity I asked both as to what the medical doctors and PhDs were called in their countries . The man said nothing but she was adamant . I asked her if she did her PhD , if yes in which subject . It was her turn to be surprised because apparently‘ she did not come across the term ‘PhD’ in her life . However , on the way back from a field trip of Zurich , Winterthur , Obewinterthur and Basel , she was telling a female participant from Namibia that she did her PhD in Law .I was sitting across the aisle hearing the conversation . I reminded her that two months previously she did not know what the term ‘PhD’ meant . But she said that she had always been a PhD in Law .
Again at lunch in the same place on a different occasion , I used the word ‘innocent’ . That hit a hornets’ nest . She and other South American participant , a fine lady , an Argentinian, began to speak in all sorts of languages . The only words I could catch were ‘bad words’ . I was stunned . But the two were not willing to tell me where I had erred . Lunch was a disaster . After lunch , I went to both of them individually . But my efforts were futile . I went to a Pakistani working in GATT ( snow renamed as WTO) and borrowed his copy of Concise Oxford Dictionary , opened the page which the word ‘ innocent ‘ appeared and showed it to the lady belonging to Argentina . The riddle was solved when she explained that in Spanish the word meant something naughty . I told her that in English the word ‘innocent’ is the most innocent word found in the English Dictionary .
However , I have just now checked in an English –Spanish , the word ‘innocent’ means the same in both languages . If so , the riddle appears to be grotesque and absurd. Perhaps , my American friend , Frank Dealy , who knows many languages, may help solve it.
Mahfooz ur Rahman
Islamabad
July 10, 2013
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